Warrior... Princess... Tramp

Gabrielle: You know, I donít remember it that way.
Joxer: Well, thatís because you were tied up at the time.
Gabrielle: So were you.

Gabrielle: We need to work on communication, here. I thought you said we were gonna meet at the tavern tomorrow. And what hapened with Joxer to make him think you were in love with him?. You have to watch what you say to this guy. Heís a little crazy. He had this whole bar thinking you were some kind of low-life tramp.
Meg (as Xena): Guard! Throw this big-mouthed idiot in the dungeon!
Gabrielle: Big-mouthed idiot?

Gabrielle: Big-mouthed idiot. Maybe itís a code. Maybe it means something. Maybe, Iím gonna kill her.

Meg (as Xena): Gabrielle, have you ever had burning splinters shoved under your fingernails?
Gabrielle: No.
Meg (as Xena): Ah-hah!

Joxer: Xenaís kind of unpredictable, isnít she?
Gabrielle: Youíre telling me.

Joxer: But on the bright side, Xena still has a thing for me.
Gabrielle: Hmm, impossible! No offense, Joxer, but youíre just not her type.

Gabrielle: I know what the plan is: Youíre trying to drive me insane!

Diana: Well, Iíve been sitting on this cold ground almost the entire day-- Who could survive that?
Gabrielle: A cold bottom isnít fatal.
Diana: Says you.

Meg: My father died in childbirth.
Gabrielle: Your father died in childbirth.
Meg: Yeah, he got drunk and fell off the roof when I was being born.

Gabrielle: Hey, Meg! Learn to read so I can write to you.
Meg: Yeah, maybe Iíll just do that.